Twitter – where George Carlin went to die

Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it – George Carlin

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Facebook is a conversation; twitter is a shouting match. Facebook is a user-constructed environment; twitter is a clusterfuck. Facebook is a group of friends at a barbecue; twitter is 200,000,000 would-be comedians in a room, each in possession of a 140 character vocabulary.

I haven’t seen as much sexual innuendo filled language since the good old days of yahoo chat rooms, actually its worse than that – its just plain smutty. Its like a smut convention with prizes awarded for the dirtiest mouth.

Businesses, actors, personalities, politicians, sporting teams, charities, arts organizations, religious groups, everyone; everyone on twitter searching for the same thing – the holy grail of twitter.

That which they all seek? The perfect 140 character one-liner.

If there were a twitter how-to manual it would be George Carlin’s classic – Brain Droppings. The problem is this – George was clever, the vast majority of tweeters are not. They are plain inept. George’s were Brain droppings, most tweets are just droppings.

There is a redeeming factor though, some tweets are so bad, so goddamn awful – they are utterly hilarious. It is with great pleasure that I bring them to you today. Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to the place where George Carlin came to die. Welcome to the amazing spaghetti western jokeslinger shootout world of twitter.

All tweets were collected in a 48hour period from a followed cross section of 532 people/ interest groups including religious groups, atheists, followers of The Onion, businesses, soccer supporters, hip-hop artists/producers, film buffs and parent groups; and just plain old folks like you and me.

This is funny isn’t it Mom?

Parents of the Year


Genius yeah? ….. Wait there’s more!




About Simon

Simon Houghton creator of The Bloke Show started life as a baby, going on to become a boy and then a man, at which time he became an actor. As time passed he went on to be a director, later still he became a sales guy, then a business owner. Most recently he regressed and became a writer. Then a driver, then an actor again. Decisiveness is not one of his strong suits.
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