To Jacob, Shoshana, Jenova and Jordan

Only a few days before two of my boys come to visit me; I lie awake with the thoughts and memories of the children I may not see for a long time. I love you all. Your smiles and laughter, the lessons each of you have taught me about relationships and life; the simple joys of you, are imprinted in my memory. You are a precious part of me. I think of you often and send you best wishes and hopes for your lives from my heart.

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Laugh at at it you miserable bastard

Today I posted this joke on my facebook wall –

I rear-ended a car this morning…the start of a really bad day! The driver got out of the other car, and he was a dwarf

He looked up at me and said ‘I am NOT Happy!’ So I said, ‘Well, which one ARE you then?’

Its a Basil Brush Boom-boom joke.

It is in no way intended to be hurtful, its just bloody silly. In todays politically correct world I had an odd comment or two that expressed dismay, one person described it as ‘mean’.

‘Childish’, ‘juvenile’, ‘sophomoric’, ‘silly’ I’ll take; but ‘mean’? – never.

Its a ridiculous joke, its harmless, furthermore this type of gag is the basis of many of the great British humorists like the The Goons and Monty Python and is increasingly apparent in American humour too. Actually, this type of joke has been around since Adam was a lad.

Rather than choosing to take offense (particularly on behalf of others – that’s a bit rich isn’t it?); isn’t it time we learned to laugh at ourselves again, even if a gag contains stereotypical references, and not take things so seriously? Surely these jokes should be judged by intent not content. If it’s not your cup of tea, I understand it – but lets not censor that which others find amusing. Lets not admonish folk who want to have a laugh so long as it does actually contain material that in some way can be judged to be humourous. After all, “Funniest Home Videos” is still running, isn’t it? God help us all.

I was only saying to my wife’s sister in bed this morning that there’s too much joy in this world.

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Its the juvenile wanker post

Have you ever thought of all of the relationships of your life, how often you were the one that got away? I have; and I gotta say, mostly its me, not them.

Its not that I don’t have my down-side, I know I can be a challenge. I’m complex (like, really complex) and I can get depressed, and that, my friends, is an ugly thing.

Some of them were more beautiful than me : pretty fish. But nearly always I was smarter, happier, funnier, had a broader vision of life, was more adventurous, more compassionate. My love runs deep and wide, I don’t mislead and I don’t lie, I don’t gameplay and I treat people with respect and kindness ; fuck it – I was the nicer person.

I was the champion catch. I was the one that got away. Some of them just don’t know it. Maybe they are not as bright as I thought at the time?

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I don’t dream very often, but I am right now; of you ; a lot. Are you ok?

UPDATE Feb 28/29 2012

My mistake … I thought I was still in tune with you.


Word count: 34

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Living a life with purpose, without Reason

How fab to be back in the land of Oz! Within one month I secured a great position; and within the last six months have reconnected with a bunch of friends; started working on TBS again with my co-collaborator: Pete Marshall; have been to more concerts, plays, restaurants, pubs, parties, movies and sporting events than in my last five years in the States combined. I live in a great area of Brisbane, close to the city and have repaid most of my debt. Life is good. Life is fantastic!

Most importantly I feel like the old me has returned, I  walk with a spring in my step  and I live my life with a sense of purpose.

Every waking hour I look forward to seeing my Reason again. I speak with my eldest twice  a day on Skype but my Aspergers Reason doesn’t relate to Skype at all, so I hardly ever get to speak with him. I will be able to afford to fly my Reason (and a chaperone) to visit me three times a year, their first visit will be in March/April, only a few weeks away.  I am planning lots of things for them to do while they’re here – visits to SeaWorld and Warner Brothers MovieWorld and Wet’n’Wild theme parks and I’ll begin to teach them how to surf and fish and will take them to their first Rugby League game.

It’s all very exciting – for them and me.

But nothing will replace seeing them every day, being an integral part of their lives, being their full-time dad.

I feel good about returning, no, I feel great about it, it was the right thing to do. But what will take away the guilt of not being there for them?

What can possibly fill the void of them?

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