Living a life with purpose, without Reason

How fab to be back in the land of Oz! Within one month I secured a great position; and within the last six months have reconnected with a bunch of friends; started working on TBS again with my co-collaborator: Pete Marshall; have been to more concerts, plays, restaurants, pubs, parties, movies and sporting events than in my last five years in the States combined. I live in a great area of Brisbane, close to the city and have repaid most of my debt. Life is good. Life is fantastic!

Most importantly I feel like the old me has returned, I  walk with a spring in my step  and I live my life with a sense of purpose.

Every waking hour I look forward to seeing my Reason again. I speak with my eldest twice  a day on Skype but my Aspergers Reason doesn’t relate to Skype at all, so I hardly ever get to speak with him. I will be able to afford to fly my Reason (and a chaperone) to visit me three times a year, their first visit will be in March/April, only a few weeks away.  I am planning lots of things for them to do while they’re here – visits to SeaWorld and Warner Brothers MovieWorld and Wet’n’Wild theme parks and I’ll begin to teach them how to surf and fish and will take them to their first Rugby League game.

It’s all very exciting – for them and me.

But nothing will replace seeing them every day, being an integral part of their lives, being their full-time dad.

I feel good about returning, no, I feel great about it, it was the right thing to do. But what will take away the guilt of not being there for them?

What can possibly fill the void of them?

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Valentines Day

Yesterday, today, Always.

Yeah, yeah I know… but this song is so Stax  and is so right on for so many reasons (including the mini!) … and it kicks ass.



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I’m turning 45! Please help me raise funds for Autism speaks Inc.

Any donation to Autism Speaks Inc. ($10 and above) will be truly gratefully received. Many thanks,


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Oh God… I’ve become a whinging pom

Winding my way through the narrow, up-and-down streets of Highgate Hill in Brisbane, I finally admitted to myself that I was lost, really lost. It turned out that I had missed the turnoff for my destination by one street, which left me flying around the local streets at a speed way above that which was sensible, manically shuffling a couple of sheets of paper with the googlemaps directions on them desperate to return to a street I could recognize. Half of the streets had no sign at all and others were so sneakily hidden by overhanging foliage or the (presumed) misdeeds of the city’s youth that I was going to have a hard time getting anywhere near a recognizable landmark.

No big deal, I found my way to my destination eventually… right? Well, kind of. For years I’ve been complaining incessantly to anyone who’ll listen about the woeful street signs in the US and how misleading they can be. The truth is that although they can be confusing, the numbered street system in the US is very practical, if unimaginative; you’d have to be numerically and logically challenged to get lost there. My years of whining and moaning had no basis in reality, my memory of easily navigating around Brisbane from friends place to friends place achieved through familiarity, with precious little help from the available signage.

Well thats all very well, but inadequate road signage wasn’t my only complaint, far from it… “it’s too cold and wet, American Football is boring and a made-for-television sport… and when are they going to take all of those bloody pads off? Why can’t that game be played with one team? Do they have to have a specialist bloke for everything? Why can’t I take my kids to a family area in my local pub? Any pub? And when I’m having a few too many with friends the pub closes waaaaaaay too early. I wouldn’t think of going out to a club in Australia before 10pm, in the US its closing before I get started. Why does everyone check my ID when entering any liquor licensed venue? I’m 44, they even ID my Dad. My DAD for God’s sake. Do we have to have a local election for everything? to approve an increase in funding for schools? Really? Public transport sucks. How could you prefer Oreos over Tim Tams? Are you lot alright? And Hershey’s is glorified cocoa. Why don’t you try some real chocolate? Why are parents so overbearingly protective of their kids? They’ll be ok going down to the local park (three blocks away) by themselves ya know, they’ll survive. Oh and while you’re at it… don’t tell me how to parent… it won’t go down too well. I’m allowed to because… ummm because ummm I’m Australian. What is it with the gun thing? What is it with the hunting thing? What is it with pronouncing ‘herb’ ‘erb’? Why can I not get anything in a restaurant that isn’t smothered in cream, butter or cheese? Does anyone actually own a restaurant around here, or are they all franchises? How much is the minimum working wage??? You’re kidding. IN AUSTRALIA, I was earning that when I was sixteen! What is it with the insurance industry? You call that a beach, no,no,no… that’s brown saltwater fringed by rocks. Ummm its 10 degrees celsius, why are you wearing a t-shirt,shorts and sandals/flip flops? Is there a decent-sized park anywhere near here? Why don’t you guys travel?

On and on and on I’d go.

Whether my complaints, and this is by no means all of them, were based on fact or personal bias, I whined. I whined a lot… I had become that which I despise… a complaining, whining, miserable WHINGING POM. Ohhh the shame.

At least, at the very end I managed to do what is the standard recommended advice to all whining bastards… I went home, somewhere I’d clearly prefer to live. Which is something the vast majority of American’s (as much as I like them, and I do like them) could simply not understand.

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Day after day… the same old thing

While my friends in Washington State are complaining about the weather (that summer hasn’t arrived yet) I can’t help but feel disappointed in their reaction. They don’t know how good they’ve got it. They just don’t know how incredibly infuriating it is to wake up to the same blue cloudless sky every single day. ‘I wonder what the weather will be like today? Gee, let me guess… ummm… blue skies light breeze around 70 degrees’. Queensland is the definition of monotony, day after day after day, year round, blue skies somewhere between 70 and 95 degrees.

In Washington at least you have four distinct seasons: Spring – could be rainy, could be cold, could be cloudy; could be all three! ‘look the leaves are coming back to the trees… oh that’s mould growing on the snow on the trees’, Summer – could have intermittent rain, could be mostly cloudy ‘woohoo its over 50, time for t-shirts and flip-flops baby ‘, Fall – could be rainy, probably cold, could be cloudy ‘is baseball season over yet?’, Winter – could be rain, could be frozen rain, definitely cloudy ‘spring training starts in 130 days’.

Where’s the gratitude?

Over the last few days there’s been a bit of a break here, its rained for about ten minutes three times a day, then, goddamn it, back to blue skies.

I’m just about done with here.

Day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day.

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