God I hate this â€“ but Im going to be true to myself â€“ Im going to keep all my promises. Especially those Ive made to myself. This is a no-holds barred uncensored biog/ journal/ blog thingy . I think Jess will read this and for once I hope she doesnâ€™t â€“ itâ€™ll all be taken the wrong wayâ€¦its my luck. But this is how Iâ€™m feeling â€¦so here it is
Iâ€™ve had a day of excitement and disappointment in turns. I was very happy to reconnect with Jess (albeit in the most elemental way) I bought a beautiful, beautiful bag Jess had made and was selling through her business, it had been a number of weeks and I hadnâ€™t received it so I sent a poorly thought out, brusquely worded email to her company asking what the delay might be. Her email reply was maybe five or six hope-filled sentences. Well, I say hope. Hope from my perspective at least. Turns out I was wrong.
I long to ask her about a thousand questions and imagine a communication that goes something like this â€“
â€œHey you! How is your business going? What made you start it? Whoâ€™s your business partner? How did you meet? When did this all come about? Are you happy with its progress? Nervous? Excited by all accounts Iâ€™m reading in your blog. Its fantastic! You must be tired?! Starting a business is hard work!
How are the girls? Are they happy at school? Are both the girls spending more time with (ex-husband #2)? I kinda hope so, they need a consistent guy around. I know he loves them.
It must have been great for you to become close again with old friends! I think you missed them more than you knew. Are you getting out more now? I hope so.I donâ€™t want to ask too much of you yet â€“ but itâ€™d be cool if we could all be friends?!
Is your hair still long? Did you end up getting that â€œmiseryâ€ tattoo you wanted? Iâ€™m getting one too you knowâ€¦ Noâ€¦. Seriously.
What happened with your last /second-last job? Itâ€™s been so long.
How big are the girls now? They must have grown a lot! The boys have. By the way, did the clothes I sent fit the girls? What are the ladies into now? Do they still sing a lot? or dress up? Still princesses?
Thereâ€™s so much I want to tell you about the boys.
Did you get to swim/ sunbake much this summer? I know you love it! Or maybe fish/camp with the girls and (significant other)?
Did you have to move too many times after leaving your dads place? Howâ€™s your family? Your sisters and brother? And your mum and dad of course.
So many boyâ€™s stories to tell you! And stuff about my parents.
You seem so happy doing something you are passionate about â€“ Iâ€™m very envious â€“ hold the course!
How is your new relationship? Good, I hope. I kinda sorta tried to start oneâ€¦ but it didnâ€™t work out too wellâ€¦ sheâ€™s moving to Colorado. You stayed North, sheâ€™s going to Coloradoâ€¦ thereâ€™s a pattern hereâ€¦ theyâ€™re running further and further awayâ€¦ Im working on scaring the next one to Greenland! (Insert howls of shared laughter here).
Did you finally give up smoking? I did â€¦then relapsedâ€¦ figures huh? I went on the coolest vacation, I have to tell you about it! Did you get to go to Disneyland? Have you been anywhere exciting?
WOW I forgot! Are you still going to school?? What course are you doing?
Iâ€™m thinking of starting another business too â€“ Iâ€™m confident it will do well â€“ keep your fingers crossed for me! Iâ€™m still hopeful of opening a coffee shop one day tooâ€¦ Iâ€™ll make it Fair Trade I promise! Might call it â€œwankersâ€ â€¦ *smiling *. Is your coffee machine still working? Still on the vanilla breves? At 130 right?
So, (youngest girl) is in grade 2 now? Oh wow. We miss themâ€¦ we miss you all. Very much.
So where do you shop for clothes now? Or do you make all your own clothes?
You happy where youâ€™re living? Iâ€™ll be moving soon â€¦donâ€™t know where to yet.
(My ex-wife) still gives me grief â€¦ Iâ€™ve tried hard to re-connect with her and J and S – but no hope there Iâ€™m afraid. You should see J and S , J is a man, and S is a beautiful young woman. At least I get to see them sometimes.
I was hitting the gym really hard until the leg thing happened â€“ Hey, I havenâ€™t told you about my leg! I ruptured my other achilles! Can you believe that shit ?
â€¦â€¦â€¦.. Hey, no worries! Of course. Its all goodâ€¦.. Great talking with you!â€¦ hope we can all catch upâ€¦ weâ€™d love to see you guys! Iâ€™ll give you a call in the next week or two.â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦..â€¦.?
â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦.. GREAT!! â€¦â€¦.Take care.
HEY!!….. Keep driving that business! ”
It didnâ€™t exactly pan out that way â€¦ but it could.
Canâ€™t wait to have that conversation.
If you’re reading this I’d appreciate it if you’d send major good vibes this way – towards this, my hope – its a big one.
Late additions –
Oh shit fuckety fuck fuck Fuck Fuck FUCK…here comes the great big mother bleeding heart me.
Yeah I know… I know… Ive already used this in another posting . I dont care . Its my blog, and besides its special.
Nina deserves the last word.