I’m on it … and one awesomely bad sentence

Sorry about the delay I’ve been busy job hunting, writing the beginnings of a novel , at least I think it’ll end up a novel…maybe a novella? Reading some classics Ive been remiss in having not read and learning the guitar – my first song is well on its way – Fuck You by Cee-Lo Green. It’s hot, and thankfully only has three chords; well seven if you count the bridge. You really should count the bridge shouldn’t you?

The next post is about My Reason so I’d best get moving.

For all budding writers like myself – if you’ve ever become disconsolate about your lack of command of the language or your poor knowledge of correct grammar and punctuation, or simply that you’re writing crap; I include this sentence, written by Molly Ringle, winner of the 2010 Bulwer-Lytton Award. Where the entrants are invited “to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels” –

For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity’s affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss — a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity’s mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world’s thirstiest gerbil.

Fabulous. A million thank-yous Molly, you give us all hope.

Added bonus – pictures from Baxters Dance/Movement showing at school… it includes a hysterically funny photo of grade one love (hint : check out the background)

About Simon

Simon Houghton creator of The Bloke Show started life as a baby, going on to become a boy and then a man, at which time he became an actor. As time passed he went on to be a director, later still he became a sales guy, then a business owner. Most recently he regressed and became a writer. Then a driver, then an actor again.
Decisiveness is not one of his strong suits.

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