My despondency level hasn’t been so high since Andrew, who has always been impulsive, decided to marry that trollop Ferguson or when the extremely rare George IV coronation mug (value: at least Â£3500) failed to raise a single bid at auction. What on earth is wrong with people these days?
We haven’t had the extraordinary good fortune of witnessing a Royal Wedding since the 1981 wedding of Charles and Diana (Andrew and the trollop, Charles and the hag, and Edward and who-the-hell-knows-or-cares, don’t count). The appalling lack of media attention and the general indifference of the public at large is confounding to say the least.
Where is the celebration? Where are the street parties festooned with Union Jack bunting, populated by the hoi polloi being regaled with all manner of Mrs Mills style entertainments?
Where are the Welsh miners singing songs in honour of the marriage of the heir to the throne? Where are the stories of the sultans and sahibs from the far flung reaches of the mighty empire paying tribute to their regal betters? Where are the pictures of the pickaninnies gleefully bouncing up and down at the very thought of their Prince marrying?
What are we hearing from commoners who have been graciously provided with a wonderful occasion to rejoice in; in the midst of a most terrible economic depression?
The ingratitude of it all. Has it come to this?
I myself blame the internet.